I had a friend who smoked when I was in my twenties. One day she left a cigarette pack at my apartment, and because I was young and was testing boundaries, I grabbed the pack, went out on my balcony and smoked a cigarette.
Of course, not being a real smoker, I coughed. I didn’t particularly like the smoking part... so I sucked back on it as fast as I could.
As I started to feel the effects, I felt great. The world was sharp, and I felt like I could cut through problems. I suddenly understood why smoking had taken over the world for a while.
Immediately afterwards I threw the rest of the pack in the garbage, knowing full well that if I ever smoked a second cigarette, it would be the beginning of addiction and dependency. That day built a huge amount of empathy for smokers, as I knew full well that I could be there too but for a few different choices.
Anyhow, this is a post about why I haven’t posted on Mastodon in a while.
Facebook was great when I first got on there. For young people seeking connection, it felt like suddenly we’d gone from having a small web of people to a huge one. Of course, it didn’t last. At least to me it seems like the social graph got bigger, but then we started to realize that posting everything to everyone wasn’t so smart, and then it all fell apart as we tried to curate and sort who could see what.
Twitter was great when I first got on there. Funny people, smart people, influential people. You felt like you were watching a whole river of incredible conversations -- and you could just... partake. Sometimes you’d even get a reply! A hero read your tweet! Of course, it didn’t last. I was complaining about it feeling toxic in 2018.
Mastodon was great when I first got on there. A small community of interesting people who had self-selected into this world. The linear timeline felt like the features you wanted, federation would be the salvation from degradation of commercial interests.
Unfortunately, what I have realized more than anything else is... I’m just not built for social media. I can’t seem to figure out a way where I partake and I’m happy with it.
There are people who can be “social smokers”. I myself am a “social drinker”. At the same time, nicotine and alcohol addicts exist; the human experience runs the gamut.
For me, I think I will choose to just abstain from social media. It’s better for me.
I’ve basically not logged into Mastodon in months except to post a couple of my blog posts. I realized at some point that every time I opened the page I was rolling the dice: If I was lucky, I’d find something cool, get a nice dopamine hit. If I wasn’t lucky, I’d find someone who was mad. Or something would be posted that made me mad, or sad, or scared.
When I stopped logging in... I just felt better. Again.
Hmm. Maybe I’ll really learn the lesson this time.
I hope so.
I won't post this there -- different people feel differently and that's fine, but I don't need to lob some sort of meta argument onto Mastodon.
I may post other blog posts there. I do like people reading my writing sometimes!
What about blogs? What about newsletters?
I think they’re more my speed.